D.A.M.E is a blog dedicated to all mothers. Young, old, African, American, African-American, Asian, Caribbean, European, Indian, Latina... every woman in the world can be part of this project call D.A.M.E!

Wednesday, 20 January 2010


You have waited and the stars have finally blessed you with a man. The man of your dreams, families have been introduced, engagement has been completed,the wedding has been had and honeymoon has been done and now married life is happening in real-time. Then the questions come, when are the babies coming? Your biological clock is ticking and you are ready to have a baby.

The question is:
Do you need consent from your husband in order to have a baby?
And i mean consent, permission from your husband, boyfriend, lover to have a baby?

Those on the 'yea' side argue that once you are married, you and your husband are one and because of this, you and your husband should be making decisions as a unit. The woman would not go and buy a car without the consent of her husband, just as the man would not go buy a house in the islands without the consent of his wife. Big decisions in marriages/relationships are to be made as a unit especially when finances are involved. And of course, in the area of child-rearing, money is definitely a factor. To have a baby in the United Stages costs on average $10,000 without insurance!

Those on the 'nay' side argue that when a woman is ready to have a baby, then because they are in a committed relationship or marriage, a woman should be able to make the decision to have the baby if and when she is ready. Marriages and committed relationships imply an intention to procreate (in the biblical sense) hence the consent from the partner is not required because consent is implied.

Regardless of which side you are on, PLANNING PARENTHOOD is significant in relationships--married life or coupling life. Too many couples, married or otherwise are having children without sitting down and talking about the logistics of having children.

Do we have the extra money to afford children right now?
How many child do we need to have?

These are questions that should be asked before children come into the married/coupling relationship. Marriages are difficult enough, so whether you agree with getting consent from your husband to have a baby or not, it is paramount that you consent to having some kind of PLAN when it comes to PARENTHOOD. As this is the biggest decision that you may ever make in your life.

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