Chances are that most women return to work shortly after their babies are born. Some women by virtue of lack of employment are stay-at-home moms. However very few women are moms who stay at home to take care of their children. It has been become somewhat of a previlege (in many north-american and european countries) to stay home with our babies especially because it has become imperative for two-income earners in most households. For most of us this is the way life is and we accept it for what it is. In order to have certain lifestyles and so we do what we need to do. The question i want to reflect on is how this impacts mothers in general when we have to leave our new babies at the daycare centers and at home with a babysitter. Most of us are still bonding with our babies including breastfeeding and cuddling time to want to continue working. At work, we daydream about our babies and wonder what they are doing and the milestones we are missing out on. Most of us cry in private due to our sadness of separating from our babies. Many of us do not share our sadness which leads to postpartum depresssion.
It is time to talk about the sadness and frustration we are feeling in order to get the right support we need, whether it be emotional, financial, physical and allow for systemic changes.
Using Our Voices for Good
Emotional: we need to reach out to other mothers who are going through the same thing. We need to ask for help when we need it and have a shoulder to cry on during the time when we should be feeding our babies in the afternoon. We need to be able to tell someone "I am sad to be leaving the baby home."
Financial: we need to talk to our partners and be honest enough to say, "I need to stay home a few more months because i am not ready to leave the baby and return to work." We say this so that we can plan a way to save money enough for you to stay home a few more months. We need to make adjustments to our lifestyles in order to save money where we can to stay home longer if the sadness of separation is too unbearable.
Physical: as much as mental health is important to our health so is our phsyical bodies. Self-care is a must when are stuggling with depression, taking our vitamins, sleeping when we can, exercising and asking for hugs when we need it. If nothing, getting hugs will warm us up and remind us that we are connected to someone else. What better way to continue the bonding process than to cuddle up to our babies.
Systemic: before society can begin to understand the importance of mothers staying at home with their babies for a longer period of time, we need to speak out about how this process impacts our lives and our babies lives so that changes can be made systemically. Only when our voices are united can we call to action changes that need to be made to impact everyone.
Use your voice as a Working Mother to make the change you want to see for yourself and your babies/families
Tuesday, 26 January 2010
Thursday, 21 January 2010
Sometimes for us to become the best person and mother, it is important to forgive the negative things that have been done to us. Forgiving our own mothers may lead us on a path to becoming the best mother possible. Letting go of whatever was done to us, whether it be physical, emotional and even sexual abuse, it is imperative to learn forgiveness and give it as well as ask for it when need be. Without forgiveness we have a burden weighing on us that can at times bury us in our daily lives. Dr. Laura Schlessinger speaks about the 4 R's that must come before a person can completely forgive:
1. Responsibility--the person needs to acknowledge what they have done, do not blame anyone else, take the responsibility of your part in the process
2. Remorse--acknowledge that the other person is hurting because of you
3. Repair--what are we doing to repair it, to make the situation better
4. Repetition--they are taking steps to make sure they are willing to change the patterns
If it is your mother that you are forgiving, they need to have the Patience to give you time to really FORGIVE.
Posted by LoveFitnessLaugh at 18:29
Wednesday, 20 January 2010
You have waited and the stars have finally blessed you with a man. The man of your dreams, families have been introduced, engagement has been completed,the wedding has been had and honeymoon has been done and now married life is happening in real-time. Then the questions come, when are the babies coming? Your biological clock is ticking and you are ready to have a baby.
The question is:
Do you need consent from your husband in order to have a baby?
And i mean consent, permission from your husband, boyfriend, lover to have a baby?
Those on the 'yea' side argue that once you are married, you and your husband are one and because of this, you and your husband should be making decisions as a unit. The woman would not go and buy a car without the consent of her husband, just as the man would not go buy a house in the islands without the consent of his wife. Big decisions in marriages/relationships are to be made as a unit especially when finances are involved. And of course, in the area of child-rearing, money is definitely a factor. To have a baby in the United Stages costs on average $10,000 without insurance!
Those on the 'nay' side argue that when a woman is ready to have a baby, then because they are in a committed relationship or marriage, a woman should be able to make the decision to have the baby if and when she is ready. Marriages and committed relationships imply an intention to procreate (in the biblical sense) hence the consent from the partner is not required because consent is implied.
Regardless of which side you are on, PLANNING PARENTHOOD is significant in relationships--married life or coupling life. Too many couples, married or otherwise are having children without sitting down and talking about the logistics of having children.
Do we have the extra money to afford children right now?
How many child do we need to have?
These are questions that should be asked before children come into the married/coupling relationship. Marriages are difficult enough, so whether you agree with getting consent from your husband to have a baby or not, it is paramount that you consent to having some kind of PLAN when it comes to PARENTHOOD. As this is the biggest decision that you may ever make in your life.
Tuesday, 19 January 2010
Arguably planning is the key concept to be a successful person. When you decide in advance what you want to achieve at different stages of you life, this makes things.
However, not always planned things go smoothly.
But how can you cope if your dreams seem to take a long time to realise. No panic. Just follow these few steps and you will see the results. Everything happens when least expected.
1. Never think about numbers.
Meaning, you might have wanted to get married at 20 years old but now you are rocking towards 35 candles and you still don't have the ring on the finger? Just think how lucky you are. You can flirt with as many men as you want and never feel guilty. ;)
2. Enjoy your many me-times.
Why? Because one day your dream of being a wife and mother will come true, and although you will enjoy all the new challenges you might wish you had all that me-times when you could have. So while you can just enjoy it.
3. Never think negative.
Always be positive, don't throw away all the best wishes and just get the first thing that comes into your life. Ask the Almighty for the best gift and he will definitely give it to you when He believes is the right time for you to receive it.
So while your girlfriends are complaining about their kids and husband and in secret you envy them, don't because you will get yours when least expected. Sometimes life can be made by chances, we don't need to plan all the time. Plan your life but live it as not planned at all.
In the mean time take the chance to spoil all your nephews, these little kids will love you more and one day your kids will benefits from that love. ;)
Monday, 18 January 2010
As mothers, we have to decide what to do with clothing for our kids.
As if we did not have enough going on with everyday life...now we have to decide how best to perserve the clothes of our children. It is important to keep clothes apart for the purpose of having some organization in the home. We maintain the kitchen, the bathroom and all the rooms. Children in general have different activities they participate on a daily basis. Church, play and school. Hence keeping church clothes laundred and folded and laid out nicely and neatly for saturday and or sunday makes weekends easy for me and stress-free!! Play clothes are of course always dirty and somewhat tattered so definitely need to keep that in the drawer for play-time. I do not want my children going to school looking like they have been rolling around in mud so school clothes should be clean, well-fitted and looking as new as possible. Keeping clothes separate provides three reprieves for me:
1) Controlled Cleaned Closets
2) Stress Free Days
3) Nice Looking Kids
As mothers, we need to make our lives easier and if separating clothes into play, church and school, then we need to do so.
Sunday, 17 January 2010
Diversity is all around us regardless of which part of the world we live in. As mothers, we are diverse because of us are stay-at-home mothers, career moms, young moms, mature moms, rich moms, not-so-well off moms, but regardless of the diversity, one thing binds us together, aspirations.
Aspiring to do better in this world. We as mothers would like to aspire to bigger and better things. We are desirous to educate and train our children to be better human beings. We aspire to be better mothers everywhere we go in the world in order to support and encourage our families and friends.
In everthing we do, we are Diverse Aspiring Mothers Everywhere.
It is difficult to be a woman, a wife, a girlfriend, a sister, a daughter and last but not least a mother! Although all these roles have their challenges and rewards, being a mother is the one at the top of my list. To be a mother is to be all these roles in one. A friend, a coach, a teacher, a doctor and most of all a nurturer. A nurturer is perhaps one of the most important role that a mother can have. The dictionary explains nuturer as:
1. to feed and protect, to nurture one's offspring
2. to support and encourage, as during the period of training or development
3. To bring up, traing, educate
4. rearing, upbringing, educate training or the like
5. something that nourishes..ie: nourishment, food
Regardless of your race, ethnicity and socioeconomic status, all mothers want to nurturer regardless it is their children or other individuals in their lives.
Friday, 8 January 2010
The logo simply means DIVERSE-ASPIRING-MOTHERS- EVERYWHERE. Most of the time when we look around in the mainstream publoshing industry and media there is very little representation space for all the women in the world. Most magazine advertise impeccably over-brushed image of women posing as real mothers. But according to D.A.M.E, mothers come in different colour, shape and social background. There are mothers and women who work the normal jobs and there are not celebrity or models but strive to be a better mother and person.
On this blog we will give advice on how to plan for a family, how to dress when it comes to motherhood and womanhood. This blog will browse the net to discover different anecdotes in life to share with the readers on this blog. We will promote best blogs dedicated to mothers and children.
This blog is family oriented blog and we condone any act that is not ethical and moral.